Cheating man wants stand-in mistress for wife’s wrath

Somethings you just can’t make up…

BEIJING (Reuters) – A Chinese businessman has advertised on the Internet for a stand-in mistress to be beaten up by his wife to vent her anger and to protect his real mistress, Chinese media reported on Monday.

“When the woman found out her husband had a mistress, she insisted on beating her up,” the Beijing Youth Daily said, citing the advertisement posted on a popular online jobs forum on sina.com.

More than 10 people had applied for the job, the newspaper said. The “successful” candidate would be 35 and originally from northeastern China and would be paid 3,000 yuan ($400) per 10 minutes, it said.

Many Chinese businessmen keep mistresses in second homes, a trend banished after the Communists swept to power in 1949 but which has made a comeback with market reforms in recent decades.

Frankly I think it’s hilarious that the guy would go so far as to do this. Though what if his wife figures out about this ad and wants to check somehow to make sure this is really the cheating woman?

Of course the prospect of the money (winds up being $2,400 per hour) would be very appealing for plenty of women… Hell, if I was a chick I’d do it.

Though the whole part where she’s Chinese (and quite possibly adept at Kung Fu) really may be discouraging…

Mark

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Clowns are creepy, but this is too much.

Colombia clowns killed on stage

Two circus clowns have been shot dead during a performance in the eastern Colombian city of Cucuta, police say.

The attacker jumped into the arena and fired before fleeing, police chief Jose Humberto Henao told Efe news agency.

Local reports say the audience of about 20 people, mostly children, thought the shooting was part of the show before realising both men had been killed.

Last year, a prominent circus clown, known as Pepe, was also shot dead by a unknown assailant in Cucuta.

The motive for the latest killing remains unclear, police said. Local media reports suggest two attackers may have been involved.

One clown was shot in the head as he performed on stage, about an hour into the Circo del Sol’s evening show.

The second, named as 18-year-old Franklin Leal, from Cucuta, was then shot as he stood by the ticket booth, according to the newspaper La Opinion.

The travelling circus had set up in a suburb of Cucuta, capital of Norte de Santander province near the Venezuelan border, about 10 days earlier, the paper says.

As wretched as this all is, the only thing I can say is: “Homey don’t play that.”
Mark

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Russian soldiers as male prostitutes?

Evidently Russian soldiers are being forced into male prostitution…

The Russian military is reported to be investigating claims that army conscripts were forced to work as male prostitutes in St Petersburg.

The command of the interior ministry unit denied the claims made by the Soldiers’ Mothers human rights group.

The group says it was contacted by a parent of a conscript who had been forced to work as a male prostitute.

Last year, an 18-year-old soldier was so badly beaten that he had to have his legs and genitals amputated.

The BBC’s James Rodgers in Moscow says the latest claims follow a series of scandals which have damaged the Russian army’s reputation.

A spokeswoman for the Soldiers’ Mothers, Ella Polyakova, told the BBC that in St Petersburg there was “a network of clients” who would pay for sex with soldiers.

Older servicemen are said to have forced younger conscripts into prostitution and then taken the money for themselves.

Brutality

The Sychev bullying case drew worldwide attention to Russian army abuses.

Private Andrei Sychev was forced to squat for several hours by fellow soldiers and then tied to a chair and brutally beaten up last year.

As a result he developed gangrene in his legs and genitals, which had to be amputated.

Now permanently disabled, Pte Sychev has just announced that he is to write a book about his ordeal.

Such cases have highlighted the appalling conditions suffered by some Russian service personnel at a time when Russia is seeking a greater role on the world stage, our correspondent says.

Wow, no amount of vodka will tend to that kind of wounded pride. Having your legs cut off is a terrible fate, having the family jewels removed is possibly worse, suffering both is just incredibly awful.

It probably wouldn’t be so bad if women were paying to have sex with them, but more likely it would be other men who’d come sodomize them… That blows.

Mark

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Deal with Grandma by zapping her

How not to win over grandma: Zap her

Man admits using Taser on wife’s grandmother in dispute over infant

NORTH BONNEVILLE, Washington – A man who said he used a stun gun on his wife’s 79-year-old grandmother was arrested for investigation of domestic assault.

Aaron de Bruyn, 26, was cited with fourth-degree domestic violence assault Wednesday and released from the Skamania County jail Thursday, Police Chief Calvin Owens said. The grandmother was not injured.

De Bruyn said he was arguing with Rosemary Garlock, who accused him of abusing his 7-month-old son when he swatted the boy’s diapered bottom to stop him from grabbing electrical wires.

When she refused to leave, he said he shocked her on her right shoulder as she sat on the living room couch.

“She yelped, because getting Tased hurts,” de Bruyn told The Columbian newspaper.

De Bruyn said he had the 50,000-volt Taser X26 energy weapon to protect against burglars. He said he called authorities, saying he had a relative in his house who would not leave.

De Bruyn’s stun gun was confiscated.

“If I had to do it over again, I wouldn’t,” he said.

 

Probably the most obscure thing in this entire article is that the grandmother accuses the man of abusing his child because he swatted the boy’s bottom to prevent him from playing with electrical wires… It seems to me that electrical wires are a big no-no and such disciplinary action is useful and even warranted…

 

 

Although I do love the line, “If I had to do it over again, I wouldn’t.”

Mark

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Tijuana police are now armed with slingshots!

Tijuana police issued slingshots

Guns confiscated amid allegations of collusion with drug runners

TIJUANA, Mexico – The police department has issued about 60 slingshots to officers in the violent border city of Tijuana, where soldiers confiscated police weapons two weeks ago on allegations of collusion with drug traffickers.

Municipal police spokesman Fernando Bojorquez said Monday that the slingshots, along with bags of ballbearings, were given to officers patrolling areas of the city visited by tourists.
Tijuana’s police force of 2,000 officers has been without guns since Jan. 5, but some patrol alongside armed state police.

President Felipe Calderon sent 3,300 soldiers and federal police to Tijuana at the beginning of January to hunt down drug gangs. The soldiers swept police stations and took officers’ guns for inspection amid allegations by federal investigators that a corrupt network of officers supports smugglers who traffic drugs into the U.S. The weapons are still being checked.

About 100 police demonstrated outside Tijuana town hall on Monday demanding the return of their guns. “The arms are our tools for work,” said officer Juan Manuel Nieves. “Do they want more police to be killed?”

More than 300 people were slain in Tijuana last year including 13 police officers.

Well they’re still a bit more heavily armed than British police officers, but this is a very amusing development! If you’ve been to TJ the Federales tend to be a frightening sight, mexicans with automatic weapons who can throw you in jail for looking at them wrong. They tend to have no qualms planting evidence on your person (happened to a number of people I know) and throwing you in jail. They are very open to bribes though – and they often use their corruption to make money.

There was a time in TJ when my cousin and I were driving a rental car down there (oops!) and on our way back we got pulled over by a TJ officer who told us we went the wrong way down a road (yeah right) and we had to follow him to the station to pay a fine of $80. My cousin was wise enough to ask, “Can we pay here?” and he told us that would only be $40… so we handed it over and he left. Not a bad deal for him, getting 40 for bringing false charges against some tourists…

Anyway, the world will probably be a better place when Federales are armed now only with slingshots.

Mark

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Man fights his way out of a shark’s mouth!

Diver says he was partly swallowed by a shark!SYDNEY, Jan 23 (Reuters Life!) – An Australian abalone diver told rescuers he was partly swallowed head-first by a Great White Shark on Tuesday but managed to fight his way free, suffering a broken nose and bite marks around the chest.

Diver Eric Nerhus, 41, was underwater with his 25-year-old son and other divers off Cape Howe, near Eden on Australia’s southeast coast, when the 3 meter (10 foot) shark attacked.

Rescuers earlier mistakenly reported his age as 25.

“He stated that he was head-first into the shark,” a spokeswoman for Snowy Hydro SouthCare rescue service told Reuters after airlifting the diver to hospital.

“When he came to us he was conscious and alert but had a broken nose and lacerations to both sides of his torso and chest — bite marks all the way around,” the spokeswoman said.

Nerhus told fellow divers he didn’t see the shark coming as the water was so dirty that visibility was severely limited.

“It was black. He didn’t see it coming, but he felt the bite and then started getting shaken, and that’s when he knew he was in the mouth of the shark,” said local diver Michael Mashado.The shark bit Nerhus around the head first, crushing his face mask and breaking his nose, fellow diver and friend Dennis Luobikis told Reuters.

NOTHING BUT THE VEST

“He was actually bitten by the head…the shark swallowed his head,” said Luobikis, adding a second bite by the shark saw it clench its jaw around Nerhus’ torso.

“The brunt of the bite was taken by his lead-weight vest. Its all over your torso. Eric said to me at the wharf that his weight vest saved him,” he said.

Abalone divers spend sometimes 6 to 8 hours underwater and use lead weight vests, not lead belts, to stay down. The vests spread the lead weight across the body, minimising back strain.

Nerhus fought frantically to free himself from the shark’s jaws and was eventually pulled back aboard his boat by his son.

“He pushed his abalone chisel into its head while it was biting and it let him go and swam away,” said Luobikis.

Luobikis said it was a miracle his friend had lived.

“Eric is a tough boy, he’s super fit. But I would say that would test anyone’s resolve, being a fish lunch,” he said.

Attacks by Great White Sharks are usually fatal because of the massive size of the predators, which breed in Australia’s cold southern waters, and the sheer force of their bites.

Sharks, including Great Whites, are protected in Australia.

Australia has had a number of shark attacks in the past year.

In December, a surfer off the southern coast survived an attack with minor injuries, while a 15-year-old boy swimming off a remote southwest beach had his leg bitten.

Last January, a scuba diver off the Western Australian city of Perth survived an attack by a Great White after fighting it off with his speargun and then his hands.

A 21-year-old woman died last January after she was attacked by three sharks while swimming off an island on Australia’s northeast coast. She lost both forearms and suffered wounds to the legs and torso.

The U.S. state of Florida annually records by far the most shark attacks.

Between 1990 and 2005 there were 341 shark attacks off Florida, according to the U.S.-based International Shark Attack File, http://www.flmnh.ufl.edu/fish/Sharks/ISAF/ISAF.htm.

Over the same period, Australia reported 74 attacks, South Africa 72, Brazil 62 and Hawaii 57.

That guy is hardcore! That’s all I can say. He must be some kind of relative of Chuck Norris or Jack Bauer.

Mark

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Canadian man beats entire US Military industrial complex!

From bears to bullets

suit

John Rennison, the Hamilton SpectatorHamilton-born Troy Hurtubise has developed a feature-filled suit of armour out of high-impact plastic, ceramic bullet protection and ballistic foam.

Inventor hopes to sell armour suit to the military

By Wade Hemsworth
The Hamilton Spectator
(Jan 11, 2007)The grizzly man is back, and this time he’s ready to take on bullets and bombs.

Troy Hurtubise, the Hamilton-born inventor who became famous for his bulky bear-protection suit by standing in front of a moving vehicle to prove it worked, has now created a much slimmer suit that he hopes will soon be protecting Canadian soldiers in Afghanistan and U.S. soldiers in Iraq.

He has spent two years and $15,000 in the lab out back of his house in North Bay, designing and building a practical, lightweight and affordable shell to stave off bullets, explosives, knives and clubs. He calls it the Trojan and describes it as the “first ballistic, full exoskeleton body suit of armour.”

Using the hard-learned lessons of his Project Grizzly experience — a 20-year odyssey that included a National Film Board documentary, an appearance on CNN and personal bankruptcy — he’s ready to start selling his newest idea.

Already, he says, the suit has stood up to bullets from high-powered weapons, including an elephant gun. The suit was empty during the ballistics tests, but he’s more than ready to put it on and face live fire.

“I would do it in an instant,” he said. “Bring it on.”

Yesterday, he returned to Hamilton to show off the suit, hoping to generate some publicity that will get him the meetings he wants with military and police outfitters.

On Saturday, he plans to wear it to Nathan Phillips Square in downtown Toronto and wait for the reporters. It shouldn’t take long to create a stir.

Hurtubise, 43, wore his suit — helmet and all — on the four-hour drive down south, partly as a way of making sure it would be comfortable enough in the field. Even sitting on his armoured butt cheeks, he said he was fine.

As he drove his black pickup in his black getup, other drivers gawked and honked. Just south of Huntsville, he was delighted to be pulled over and gave an apprehensive OPP officer a close-up look at the suit.

Once he established that he could see just fine in his helmet and that the guns attached to his magnetic holsters were just props, Hurtubise was free to continue his trip.

The whole suit — which draws design inspiration from Star Wars, RoboCop, Batman and video games — is made from high-impact plastic lined with ceramic bullet protection over ballistic foam.

Its many features include compartments for emergency morphine and salt, a knife and emergency light. Built into the forearms are a small recording device, a pepper-spray gun and a detachable transponder that can be swallowed in case of trouble.

Dangling between the legs, that would be a clock.

In the helmet, there’s a solar-powered fresh-air system and a drinking tube attached to a canteen in the small of the back. A laser pointer mounted in the middle of the forehead is ready to point to snipers, while LED lights frame the face.

The whole suit comes in at 18 kilograms. It covers everything but the fingertips and the major joints, and could be mass-produced for about $2,000, Hurtubise says.

He said he hopes to earn enough of a living from the suit so he can keep on inventing, but the real reason he did this, he says, is “for the boys.”

Wow. I WANT ONE!!

No this guy seems like a nut, but he’s done some very awesome (if nutty) things in the past. Perhaps he’s most famous for his grizzly bear armor, which could theoretically withstand any kind of pounding or attack a Grizzly bear could muster. To demonstrate it’s durability he gets beaten with wooden bats, falls off a cliff, gets hit with a log, gets struck by a car, forced against a brick wall and so on without any injury. You can look at his video here on youtube.

Mark

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Couple kills their noisy neighbors

LECCO, Italy (Reuters) – An Italian couple have confessed to killing four neighbors including a toddler after a long feud over noise, a prosecutor said Thursday, resolving a gruesome murder case that has held the country in thrall.

Thirty-year-old Raffaella Castagna, her two-year-old son, her mother and a neighbor were found with their throats slit on December 11 in Castagna’s apartment in the wealthy northern town of Erba. Their home had been set on fire.

The press immediately fingered Castagna’s husband, a Tunisian immigrant recently freed from jail under a mass pardon, only to offer rare front-page apologies when it emerged that at the time of the murders he was on a trip to his homeland.

The vicious nature of the murders fueled talk of a vendetta linked to the Tunisian’s previous conviction for drug dealing.

But earlier this week police arrested Olindo Romano and Rosa Bazzi, an apparently respectable middle-aged couple with no criminal record living in the same building. They confessed in a 10-hour interrogation and Bazzi said she killed the two-year-old, investigators said.

The neighbors had a long-running feud with the Castagnas whom they accused of being noisy, but surviving members of the Castagna family never imagined they would go so far.

Investigators said they believed the murders were premeditated.

“This is a case that has shaken the consciences of everybody, including us the magistrates,” prosecutor Alessandro Maria Lodolini told a news conference. “It became a matter of honor for us to resolve it as quickly as possible and reassure public opinion,” he said.

Police were eventually led to the culprits by a 60-year-old neighbor who was attacked and left for dead when he tried to help the victims. They also found blood in Romano’s car.

Ouch.

Definitely a tad extreme… we respond to our noisy neighbors by being loud right back or otherwise startling them… My room-mate works on movies and has an extensive sound library with a powerful system. He played a loop of a helicopter flying low overhead and sure enough our neighbors came to their balcony and kept trying to find the helicopter!

Reward noise with pranks, not with violence…

Mark

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Disney’s Tigger punches kid in the face

This isn’t nearly as funny as when Cheney shot his friend in the face with a shotgun, but it’s up there.

ORLANDO, Fla. — Home video of a costumed Tigger character apparently punching a boy in the face and knocking him back at a Walt Disney World theme park has prompted an Orange County Sheriff’s investigation into the incident and led to the suspension of the cast member, according to a Local 6 News report.

The Monaco family of New Hampshire said they were visiting a Disney theme park and posing for a photo with Tigger when the character landed a hard punch.”You don’t come here for this,” father Jerry Monaco said. “Disney is supposed to be a safe place. It is supposed to be a place where you come and spend time with your family. How hard did he hit you, (son)?”

“Pretty hard,” Jerry Monaco Jr. replied. “I could still feel it even though he was wearing the padded gloves.”Monaco said he noticed the alleged attack was unprovoked after looking at the video.”At first I was upset at my son,” Monaco Sr. said. “I thought he did something to Tigger. But then I review it and it is pretty clear, for no reason he just clocked him in the face.”Monaco said he did not provoke the attack and just had his arm around the costumed character when the incident happened.”No provoking at all,” Monaco said. “It was just out of the blue.”Disney officials called the family, the report said.”I just wanted to follow up with you and let you know that we have spoken to the cast member in question and have reacted very strongly toward him,” a man who identified himself as Jean Erik Redrupp, general manager of Park Operations at Disney-MGM Studios, said in a phone recording.

“The general manager apologized to me,” Monaco Sr. said. “Everybody will come up and apologize to me but Tigger. He won’t be a man about it and get out of the costume and come out and apologize to my son. I didn’t want VIP treatment. I didn’t want an extra day at Disney. I didn’t want any of that. I wanted him to apologize and that is the one thing that they won’t do.””It is clear the two made physical contact,” Local 6’s Samantha Knapp said. “An investigation into who did what is under way.”Disney as well as the Orange County Sheriff’s Office launched investigations into the incident Saturday.The cast member, Michael J. Fedelem, was suspended by Disney pending the investigation, according to an AP report.Watch Local 6 News for more on this story.

If you watch the video you see the kid is laughing and smiling the entire time, even more broadly when he provokes a reaction and gets hit. And the family’s response is clearly aiming for money and overplaying the “we just want an apology” card… However it turns out that the cast member was being choked from behind as the boy was pulling the costume strings behind the neck! The article here actually sums it up rather well.

The parents of this family seem like opportunists of the most pathetic sort. This is like many of those bogus lawsuits against disney characters for sexual harassment… In one of the more embarrassing cases the charges were dropped because the disney character accused of groping a girl actually had no arms with which to do so – oops!

Anyway, I hope the son is the one who gets in trouble for instigating.

Mark

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