Archive for the ‘dumb’ Category

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16 year old marries 40 year old coach!

June 22, 2007

Wow, isn’t this illegal?        

The Hagers are trying to figure out how life went off track for their teenage daughter, Windy.   

They envisioned that life for the good student and promising athlete would be filled with dreams of the prom and college, but that all changed this week when Windy, 16, married her high school track coach.

“She was a dream kid,” said her mother, Betty Hager. “We’d never have to worry about Windy trying to get by with something.”

At South Brunswick High School in North Carolina, Windy’s greatest passion was track and field.“She just always was outside, always running, and her name’s Windy — I guess she was predestined to do love to do that,” Betty said.

But that passion led her down a troubling path.

Special Attention From Coach

During Windy’s freshman year, her 38-year-old track coach, Brenton Wuchae, began taking a more active interest in her, offering to give the 14-year-old rides home from practice.

“He just seemed like a genuine guy, like he was there for the kids,” said Windy’s father, Dennis Hager.

But the Hagers eventually grew uneasy. Their phone bills showed text messages between Wuchae and Windy as late as 2 a.m.

They also discovered worrying e-mails. In one, Windy wrote to a friend, “I don’t care to look at anyone other than him. He is the apple of my eye, I’ve never felt this way for someone, but I just don’t want to lose him because of my parents’ power trips.”

The Hagers confronted Wuchae.

“He assured me there was nothing like that going on, [and that] they were just friends. His intentions were purely appropriate,” Dennis said.

Not satisfied with that answer, the Hagers turned to the school district, which spoke to the coach.

The principal of the high school wrote to the Hagers, “I have seen nothing but a cooperative attitude from the teacher, and to the best of my knowledge, he has not had any contact with Windy since then.”

“School officials can’t be responsible for what happens the other hours of the day, and I would think the relationship developed much more outside of school,” said Brian Shaw, an attorney for the school district.

The Hagers contacted police; they even tried to get a restraining order.

“We’ve tried everybody. We’ve been to the law. We’ve been to the school board,” Betty said. “Our family has come and tried to talk to her. We’ve had people on the phone with her for hours,€” family, friends. We’ve been to our pastor asking for guidance. We’ve been to his pastor.” 

Meanwhile, the Hagers say Windy withdrew, refusing to speak to them until she asked them to sign a consent form so that she and her coach, a man more than twice her age,€” could get married.

Although anguished, her weary parents gave in.

“Signing those consent forms was the hardest thing I did in my whole life, but we had to move on, it was going to kill us all,” Dennis said.

Monday, Windy and Wuchae married, and he resigned from the school.

But was Windy really old enough to understand her decision? Experts say it’s a difficult situation.

“With most teenagers, they’re not sure yet who’s who and what’s what and what should be done,” said Henry Paul, author of the book “Is My Teenager OK?” “It’s obviously up to the adult figure to set the boundaries.”

Windy and her new husband would not comment for this story, but the Hagers realize what they’ve lost.

“She could have done anything,” Betty said. “She could have set the world on fire. She threw it all away.” 

     Ok, well maybe this thing is illegal in California, but I’m not terribly surprised to hear this story arising from  North Carolina!  

There is only one way to resolve this issue between parents and newlyweds… either a reality tv show or an appearance on Jerry Springer!

 Mark

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It’s not Mickey Mouse, it’s a cat with huge ears!

May 4, 2007

This is a bit too long to post in full, and obviously I believe bloggers should get the traffic and credit they deserve, so you can read the whole story here at “Japan Probe.”

It’s a remarkably similar version of DisneyLand, undeniably similar in fact. Except Donald Duck is pregnant and Mickey Mouse is actually an estranged feline.

I want to nominate this as “The Biggest Bootleg Ever”.

Mark

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The worst Canadian in history…

May 3, 2007

Given all the tyrants, despots and evil bastards to populate this planet and our history, you may be wondering who the worst Canadian (a land of super nice people) was… Now they’re trying to find out.

WINNIPEG, Manitoba (Reuters) – A Canadian history magazine plans to highlight how a country stereotyped for its polite and somewhat boring citizenry is also home to its share of scoundrels through a survey seeking “the worst Canadian.”

“Our international reputation has us as this very nice, quiet, friendly place,” said Deborah Morrison, president of Canada’s National History Society, which publishes The Beaver magazine.

“We thought it would be fun to show people our seamier side and take a look at some of our more villainous characters, and how they’ve helped to shape our country,” Morrison said.

So far, visitors to the magazine’s Web site at http://www.thebeaver.ca have nominated pop singers like Celine Dion and Shania Twain as well as criminals and prime ministers, she said.

But she said currently in the lead is “somebody only Canadians could know and hate:” the late Harold Ballard, former owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs hockey team.

“We take our hockey very seriously,” Morrison said.

Ballard, a self-described misanthropic “miserable old bastard” was loathed by fans and served time in jail for fraud and tax evasion.

The magazine’s August 1 issue will publish poll results for “Canada’s most foul, useless, maligning and destructive human forces” as well as more rigorous opinions from historians and Canadian writers, she said.

Morrison said the magazine cribbed the idea from BBC History Magazine, whose readers chose serial killer Jack the Ripper as the worst Briton in history in a 2005 poll.

Well, if the worst they have is a Hockey Team Owner who served jail time for fraud, it seems like their plan is going to completely backfire.

In the US some of our celebrities/heroes are arrested for fraud! Look at Martha Stewart, she’s just as big a home-making idol as she was before. Whoever the Canadians come up with as their national villain, there’s no way it could compete with the villains of history (Hitler, Genghis Kahn, and a lot more) and no way it could compare with most notorious Americans… Not even Shania Twain or Celine Dion can match the evil, hypocritical and disruptive nature of someone mild like Ted Haggard.

It would be funny if Celine Dion won of course, or if some random guy like “the egregious knitter” (a guy who steals balls of thread for knitting – made up) would be funny too.

Hell, if the worst they have is a tax evading hockey team owner, I’m moving up there.

Mark

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Study Finds that Booze Shrinks Brains!

May 3, 2007

Yet another study to show us what we already know...

Drinking too much alcohol on a regular basis may speed the shrinking of the brain that comes with age and accelerate mental decline, a study showed.

Brain scans of more than 1,800 people showed that those who consumed more than 14 drinks a week had about 1.6 percent less brain volume compared with nondrinkers. The effect was more pronounced among women than men, said lead researcher Carol Ann Paul, an instructor at Wellesley College near Boston.

Size reductions in certain parts of the brain have been linked to Alzheimer’s disease in previous research. More than 12 million Americans could be diagnosed as alcohol dependent, and consuming 12 to 15 drinks a week places a person at risk of the condition, according to the U.S. National Institutes of Health in Bethesda, Maryland.

“The study is a snapshot in time,” Paul said in a telephone interview yesterday. “We’re not looking at their entire history. The next steps would be to look at the longitudinal effects of alcohol, the effects over a lifetime.”

More research is needed to help determine whether the results apply to a wider population and specifically what the connection means, Paul said.

Paul and her colleagues were looking for signs that alcohol might slow brain aging in a way similar to the reduction in heart disease that studies have shown for people who consume low- to moderate amounts. Paul presented the study results at the American Academy of Neurology’s annual meeting in Boston yesterday.

The researchers examined results of brain scans performed on men and women 34 to 88 years old and without signs of dementia. Dividing the group into nondrinkers, former drinkers, low, moderate and high drinkers, the researchers measured brain volume in relation to skull size, considered a marker of brain aging.

People with a 12-year history of heavy drinking had less brain volume than those who began drinking more moderately during that period and later consumed greater amounts, Paul said.

Heavy drinking seemed to have the most negative impact on the brain volume of women in their 70s, she said. Past studies have suggested that older women have risk factors that make them particularly vulnerable to the harmful effects of heavy drinking.

According to the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence, almost 18 million Americans abuse alcohol. Each year, more than 100,000 Americans die of alcohol-related causes.

This reminds me of some sage words:

In my country, scientists say women have brain size of squirrel

“In my country, scientists say women have brain size of squirrel.”

If they drink alcohol it’s a possibility! I guess my generation is doomed to be squirrel brained individuals hopelessly wandering around with our mouths agape and our eyes showing interest for only fleeting moments before the ADD takes hold again. We will become living zombies, walking around moaning and using hokey pick-up lines.

In fact the shrinking of brain matter may explain some of these guys you see in clubs who seem to genuinely think that a cheesy pickup line can work…

Anyway, it’s a study that demonstrates something we already know – alcohol kills brain cells. So next time you have a drink, be sure to commemorate the memories and cognitive faculties lost!

Mark

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Boy gets toilet seat stuck on his head

April 26, 2007

I hope the mother got lots of blackmail pictures:

LONDON (Reuters) – British firefighters said on Wednesday they had come to a boy’s rescue after he got a toilet seat stuck on his head.

The toddler, aged two-and-a-half, and his mother walked into a fire station in Braintree, Essex, Tuesday saying the boy had put his head through a small trainer seat for the toilet and now could not remove it.

“His mum had tried to get it over his head but couldn’t budge it so she walked him down here and asked us to have a look at it and we went to work and we managed to get it off in no time,” firefighter Chris Cox said.

“We simply put some dish washing liquid on his head and ears and it slid off nice as pie.”

 

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He said the boy had been “very brave” and “toddled away as happy as can be” after his ordeal ended.

When I was in Boy Scouts we would have killed him a “Knight of the Round Bowl.”

Mark

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Wifi zombies?

April 24, 2007

Attack of the killer wifi peripherals!

Danger on the airwaves: Is the Wi-Fi revolution a health time bomb?

It’s on every high street and in every coffee shop and school. But experts have serious concerns about the effects of electronic smog from wireless networks linking our laptops and mobiles, reports Geoffrey Lean

Published: 22 April 2007

 

 

Being “wired-up” used to be shorthand for being at the cutting edge, connected to all that is cool. No longer. Wireless is now the only thing to be.

Go into a Starbucks, a hotel bar or an airport departure lounge and you are bound to see people tapping away at their laptops, invisibly connected to the internet. Visit friends, and you are likely to be shown their newly installed system.

Lecture at a university and you’ll find the students in your audience tapping away, checking your assertions on the world wide web almost as soon as you make them. And now the technology is spreading like a Wi-Fi wildfire throughout Britain’s primary and secondary schools.

The technological explosion is even bigger than the mobile phone explosion that preceded it. And, as with mobiles, it is being followed by fears about its effect on health – particularly the health of children. Recent research, which suggests that the worst fears about mobiles are proving to be justified, only heightens concern about the electronic soup in which we are increasingly spending our lives.

Now, as we report today, Sir William Stewart (pictured below right), the man who has issued the most authoritative British warnings about the hazards of mobiles, is becoming worried about the spread of Wi-Fi. The chairman of the Health Protection Agency – and a former chief scientific adviser to the Government – is privately pressing for an official investigation of the risks it may pose.

Health concerns show no sign of slowing the wireless expansion. One in five of all adult Britons now own a wireless-enabled laptop. There are 35,000 public hotspots where they can use them, usually at a price.

In the past 18 months 1.6 million Wi-Fi terminals have been sold in Britain for use in homes, offices and a host of other buildings. By some estimates, half of all primary schools and four fifths of all secondary schools have installed them.

Whole cities are going wireless. First up is the genteel, almost bucolic, burgh of Norwich, which has installed a network covering almost the whole of its centre, spanning a 4km radius from City Hall. It takes in key sites further away, including the University of East Anglia and a local hospital, and will be expanded to take in rural parts of the south of the county.

More than 200 small aerials were attached to lamp posts to create the network, which anyone can use free for an hour. There is nothing to stop the 1,000 people who use it each day logging off when their time is up, and logging on again for another costless session.

“We wanted to see if something like this could be done,” says Anne Carey, the network’s project manager. “People are using it and finding it helpful. It is, I think, currently the largest network of its kind.”

Not for much longer. Brighton plans to launch a city-wide network next year, and Manchester is planning one covering over 400 square miles, providing free access to 2.2 million people.

So far only a few, faint warnings have been raised, mainly by people who are so sensitised to the electromagnetic radiation emitted by mobiles, their masts and Wi-Fi that they become ill in its presence. The World Health Organisation estimates that up to three out of every hundred people are “electrosensitive” to some extent. But scientists and doctors – and some European governments – are adding their voices to the alarm as it becomes clear that the almost universal use of mobile phones may be storing up medical catastrophe for the future.

A recent authoritative Finnish study has found that people who have used mobiles for more than ten years are 40 per cent more likely to get a brain tumour on the same side of the head as they hold their handset; Swedish research suggests that the risk is almost four times as great. And further research from Sweden claims that the radiation kills off brain cells, which could lead to today’s younger generation going senile in their forties and fifties.

Professor Lawrie Challis, who heads the Government’s official mobile safety research, this year said that the mobile could turn out to be “the cigarette of the 21st century”.

There has been less concern about masts, as they emit very much less radiation than mobile phones. But people living – or attending schools – near them are consistently exposed and studies reveal a worrying incidence of symptoms such as headaches, fatigue, nausea, dizziness and memory problems. There is also some suggestion that there may be an increase in cancers and heart disease.

Wi-Fi systems essentially take small versions of these masts into the home and classroom – they emit much the same kind of radiation. Though virtually no research has been carried out, campaigners and some scientists expect them to have similar ill-effects. They say that we are all now living in a soup of electromagnetic radiation one billion times stronger than the natural fields in which living cells have developed over the last 3.8 billion years. This, they add, is bound to cause trouble

Prof Leif Salford, of Lund University – who showed that the radiation kills off brain cells – is also deeply worried about wi-fi’s addition to “electronic smog”.

There is particular concern about children partly because they are more vulnerable – as their skulls are thinner and their nervous systems are still developing – and because they will be exposed to more of the radiation during their lives.

The Austrian Medical Association is lobbying against the deployment of Wi-Fi in schools. The authorities of the province of Salzburg has already advised schools not to install it, and is now considering a ban. Dr Gerd Oberfeld, Salzburg’s head of environmental health and medicine, says that the Wi-Fi is “dangerous” to sensitive people and that “the number of people and the danger are both growing”.

In Britain, Stowe School removed Wi-Fi from part of its premises after a classics master, Michael Bevington – who had taught there for 28 years – developed headaches and nausea as soon as it was installed.

Ian Gibson, the MP for the newly wireless city Norwich is calling for an official inquiry into the risks of Wi-Fi. The Professional Association of Teachers is to write to Education Secretary Alan Johnson this week to call for one.

Philip Parkin, the general secretary of the union, says; “I am concerned that so many wireless networks are being installed in schools and colleges without any understanding of the possible long-term consequences.

“The proliferation of wireless networks could be having serious implications for the health of some staff and pupils without the cause being recognised.”

But, he added, there are huge commercial pressures” which may be why there has not yet been “any significant action”.

Guidelines that were ignored

The first Stewart Report, published in May 2000, produced a series of sensible recommendations. They included: discouraging children from using mobiles, and stopping the industry from promoting them to the young; publicising the radiation levels of different handsets so that customers could choose the lowest; making the erection of phone masts subject to democratic control through the planning system; and stopping the building of masts where the radiation “beam of greatest intensity” fell on schools, unless the school and parents agreed.

The Government accepted most of these recommendations, but then, as ‘The Independent on Sunday’ has repeatedly pointed out, failed to implement them. Probably, it has lost any chance to curb the use of mobiles by children and teenagers. Since the first report, mobile use by the young has doubled.

Has anybody ever read Stephen King’s “Cell”?  About the zombies (of sorts) that are created by a pulse sent via cell phones.  Well if you haven’t, go read it.  Then be afraid of the coming zombie apocalypse.  Be very afraid!

Mark

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Keith Richards snorted his father’s ashes!

April 4, 2007

From the wonderful, colorful bizarro world of Keith Richards.

LONDON – Keith Richards has acknowledged consuming a raft of illegal substances in his time, but this may top them all.

In comments published Tuesday, the 63-year-old Rolling Stones guitarist said he had snorted his father’s ashes mixed with cocaine.

“The strangest thing I’ve tried to snort? My father. I snorted my father,” Richards was quoted as saying by British music magazine NME.

 

“He was cremated, and I couldn’t resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn’t have cared,” he said, adding that “it went down pretty well, and I’m still alive.”

Richards’ father, Bert, died in 2002, at 84.

Richards, one of rock’s legendary wild men, told the magazine that his survival was the result of luck, and advised young musicians against trying to emulate him.

“I did it because that was the way I did it. Now people think it’s a way of life,” he was quoted as saying.

“I’ve no pretensions about immortality,” he added. “I’m the same as everyone … just kind of lucky.

 

“I was No. 1 on the ‘who’s likely to die’ list for 10 years. I mean, I was really disappointed when I fell off the list,” Richards said.

The rocker, who underwent an operation in New Zealand last year after reportedly falling out of a tree in Fiji, also took a swipe at some of the big musical acts of today.

“Everyone’s a load of crap,” he said. “They are trying to be somebody else, and they ain’t being themselves. Libertines, Arctic Monkeys, Bloc Party? Load of crap, load of crap. Posers, rubbish.”

Of course on the Rolling Stones website he made this statement:

The complete story is lost in the usual slanting! The truth of the matter is that I planted a sturdy English Oak . I took the lid off the box of ashes and he is now growing oak trees and would love me for it!!! I was trying to say how tight Bert and I were. That tight!!! I wouldn’t take cocaine at this point in my life unless I wished to commit suicide.

Of course it’s hard to tell how much Keith Richards may even remember of the discussion or the last several years of his life in general. The guy is nuts. I bet when they cremate him, everybody in attendance will get high from the smoke!

Mark

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Egyptians go to France to recover stolen mummy hairs!

March 31, 2007

I guess they really like their ancient hairs:

CAIRO (Reuters) – Egypt sent an archaeological team to France on Thursday to retrieve 3,200-year-old strands of hair from the mummy of Pharaoh Ramses II, who presided over an era of great military expansion in Egypt, state media said.

The existence of the hair came to light last year when some of the strands were offered for sale on the Internet for between 2,000 and 2,500 euros ($2,668 and $3,336), in addition to tiny pieces of resin and embalmed cloth taken from the mummy.

The seller had said he obtained the relics from his deceased father, who had worked in a French laboratory entrusted with analysing and restoring the body of Ramses in the 1970s. He had offered to provide certificates of authenticity to buyers.

 

French archaeologists had reacted with horror to news that the hairs were on sale and French authorities arrested the suspected seller in November.

Egyptian antiquities chief Zahi Hawass praised the efforts of French authorities to stop the sale of the hair, and said that the “theft of the mummy’s hair was not appropriate behavior”, state news agency MENA said.

Ramses II, also known as Ramses the Great, was born around 1304 BC and ruled Egypt for more than 60 years during the 19th dynasty of pharaohs. He is a popular feature on Egyptian postcards and is traditionally believed to be the pharaoh mentioned in the biblical story of Moses.

Ramses’s mummy was discovered in 1881 and shortly afterwards moved to Cairo’s Egyptian Museum. In the early 1970s authorities noticed his body was deteriorating and sent it to Paris, where it was treated for a fungal infection.

 

Don’t they know about the ancient Egyptian mummy hair curse? If you take a mummy’s hair you will wind up growing very hairy palms, which would make life (and other things) a lot harder.

 

I can already hear what my girlfriend would say. “If he still has hair after thousands of years, I have to know what kind of shampoo and conditioner he used!” =P

 

Mark

 

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Swiss man jailed for Thai insult.

March 30, 2007

I thought the Swiss were supposed to be neutral?

 

Swiss man jailed for Thai insult

Oliver Jufer arrives at court in Chiang Mai, Thailand, on 12 March 2007

Oliver Jufer has lived in Thailand for more than a decade

A Swiss man has been jailed for 10 years after pleading guilty to charges of insulting the Thai king.

Oliver Jufer, 57, was arrested last December after drunkenly spray-painting posters of King Bhumibol Adulyadej in the northern city of Chiang Mai.

Earlier this month he pleaded guilty to five charges under Thailand’s draconian lese majeste law.

Judge Phitsanu Tanbukalee said that Jufer received a reduced sentence because he had admitted his guilt.

“This is a serious crime, and he was sentenced to four years for each of five counts, for a total of 20 years,” he said.

“Because he confessed, the court has reduced his sentence to 10 years.”

Jufer is believed to be the first foreigner ever imprisoned for the offence.

Others have been charged in the past, but later expelled from the country rather than jailed.

Sensitive issue

Jufer, who had faced a maximum sentence of 75 years, has lived in Thailand for more than 10 years.

KING BHUMIBOL ADULYADEJ

King Bhumibol

 

Born in 1927, ascended throne in 1946

World’s longest-serving current head of state

Official powers are limited, but wields enormous influence because of popular backing

Widely believed to have given backing to 2006 military coup

Sensitive regimes

He was recorded on surveillance cameras defacing the portraits on the king’s 79th birthday.

Earlier he had tried to buy alcohol but been refused, since such sales are sometimes banned on important days. King Bhumibol, the world’s longest-serving current head of state, is a very popular figure in Thailand.

The case has highlighted strict laws in Thailand which forbid any criticism of the monarchy.

Such is the sensitivity of the issue, says the BBC’s Jonathan Head in Bangkok, that it is receiving little attention in the Thai media.

Most Thais feel a deep reverence for their monarch. But they also fear discussing the institution because of the severe penalties for criticising members of the royal family.

Jufer has a month to lodge an appeal against the sentence, our correspondent adds, but his best hope now is probably a royal pardon.

Now this isn’t in itself funny (it’s pretty fucked up for the Swiss dude) but what IS funny is the picture of their leader. Look at that guy!  He looks like a Jewish lawyer pansey.  I would be jailed within a day if I lived under those laws and had a leader so ripe for jokes!

Poor country though, they will never have comedians like Jay Leno.

Mark

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Taliban leader captured in women’s clothing!

March 15, 2007

The article is fairly long, but the actual concept is very amusing.

An amusing excerpt:

NATO, meanwhile, announced the capture of a senior Taliban fighter who had eluded authorities by wearing a woman’s burqa. Mullah Mahmood, who is accused of helping Taliban fighters rig suicide bomb attacks, was seized by Afghan soldiers at a checkpoint near Kandahar, the alliance said.

I love the implications in this. This Taliban leader wearing women’s clothing, it’s such a mockery of their own belief systems and so damn embarrassing for them.

Or maybe I’m the only one who finds this funny.

Mark

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