Archive for the ‘stupid’ Category

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16 year old marries 40 year old coach!

June 22, 2007

Wow, isn’t this illegal?        

The Hagers are trying to figure out how life went off track for their teenage daughter, Windy.   

They envisioned that life for the good student and promising athlete would be filled with dreams of the prom and college, but that all changed this week when Windy, 16, married her high school track coach.

“She was a dream kid,” said her mother, Betty Hager. “We’d never have to worry about Windy trying to get by with something.”

At South Brunswick High School in North Carolina, Windy’s greatest passion was track and field.“She just always was outside, always running, and her name’s Windy — I guess she was predestined to do love to do that,” Betty said.

But that passion led her down a troubling path.

Special Attention From Coach

During Windy’s freshman year, her 38-year-old track coach, Brenton Wuchae, began taking a more active interest in her, offering to give the 14-year-old rides home from practice.

“He just seemed like a genuine guy, like he was there for the kids,” said Windy’s father, Dennis Hager.

But the Hagers eventually grew uneasy. Their phone bills showed text messages between Wuchae and Windy as late as 2 a.m.

They also discovered worrying e-mails. In one, Windy wrote to a friend, “I don’t care to look at anyone other than him. He is the apple of my eye, I’ve never felt this way for someone, but I just don’t want to lose him because of my parents’ power trips.”

The Hagers confronted Wuchae.

“He assured me there was nothing like that going on, [and that] they were just friends. His intentions were purely appropriate,” Dennis said.

Not satisfied with that answer, the Hagers turned to the school district, which spoke to the coach.

The principal of the high school wrote to the Hagers, “I have seen nothing but a cooperative attitude from the teacher, and to the best of my knowledge, he has not had any contact with Windy since then.”

“School officials can’t be responsible for what happens the other hours of the day, and I would think the relationship developed much more outside of school,” said Brian Shaw, an attorney for the school district.

The Hagers contacted police; they even tried to get a restraining order.

“We’ve tried everybody. We’ve been to the law. We’ve been to the school board,” Betty said. “Our family has come and tried to talk to her. We’ve had people on the phone with her for hours,€” family, friends. We’ve been to our pastor asking for guidance. We’ve been to his pastor.” 

Meanwhile, the Hagers say Windy withdrew, refusing to speak to them until she asked them to sign a consent form so that she and her coach, a man more than twice her age,€” could get married.

Although anguished, her weary parents gave in.

“Signing those consent forms was the hardest thing I did in my whole life, but we had to move on, it was going to kill us all,” Dennis said.

Monday, Windy and Wuchae married, and he resigned from the school.

But was Windy really old enough to understand her decision? Experts say it’s a difficult situation.

“With most teenagers, they’re not sure yet who’s who and what’s what and what should be done,” said Henry Paul, author of the book “Is My Teenager OK?” “It’s obviously up to the adult figure to set the boundaries.”

Windy and her new husband would not comment for this story, but the Hagers realize what they’ve lost.

“She could have done anything,” Betty said. “She could have set the world on fire. She threw it all away.” 

     Ok, well maybe this thing is illegal in California, but I’m not terribly surprised to hear this story arising from  North Carolina!  

There is only one way to resolve this issue between parents and newlyweds… either a reality tv show or an appearance on Jerry Springer!

 Mark

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It’s not Mickey Mouse, it’s a cat with huge ears!

May 4, 2007

This is a bit too long to post in full, and obviously I believe bloggers should get the traffic and credit they deserve, so you can read the whole story here at “Japan Probe.”

It’s a remarkably similar version of DisneyLand, undeniably similar in fact. Except Donald Duck is pregnant and Mickey Mouse is actually an estranged feline.

I want to nominate this as “The Biggest Bootleg Ever”.

Mark

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The worst Canadian in history…

May 3, 2007

Given all the tyrants, despots and evil bastards to populate this planet and our history, you may be wondering who the worst Canadian (a land of super nice people) was… Now they’re trying to find out.

WINNIPEG, Manitoba (Reuters) – A Canadian history magazine plans to highlight how a country stereotyped for its polite and somewhat boring citizenry is also home to its share of scoundrels through a survey seeking “the worst Canadian.”

“Our international reputation has us as this very nice, quiet, friendly place,” said Deborah Morrison, president of Canada’s National History Society, which publishes The Beaver magazine.

“We thought it would be fun to show people our seamier side and take a look at some of our more villainous characters, and how they’ve helped to shape our country,” Morrison said.

So far, visitors to the magazine’s Web site at http://www.thebeaver.ca have nominated pop singers like Celine Dion and Shania Twain as well as criminals and prime ministers, she said.

But she said currently in the lead is “somebody only Canadians could know and hate:” the late Harold Ballard, former owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs hockey team.

“We take our hockey very seriously,” Morrison said.

Ballard, a self-described misanthropic “miserable old bastard” was loathed by fans and served time in jail for fraud and tax evasion.

The magazine’s August 1 issue will publish poll results for “Canada’s most foul, useless, maligning and destructive human forces” as well as more rigorous opinions from historians and Canadian writers, she said.

Morrison said the magazine cribbed the idea from BBC History Magazine, whose readers chose serial killer Jack the Ripper as the worst Briton in history in a 2005 poll.

Well, if the worst they have is a Hockey Team Owner who served jail time for fraud, it seems like their plan is going to completely backfire.

In the US some of our celebrities/heroes are arrested for fraud! Look at Martha Stewart, she’s just as big a home-making idol as she was before. Whoever the Canadians come up with as their national villain, there’s no way it could compete with the villains of history (Hitler, Genghis Kahn, and a lot more) and no way it could compare with most notorious Americans… Not even Shania Twain or Celine Dion can match the evil, hypocritical and disruptive nature of someone mild like Ted Haggard.

It would be funny if Celine Dion won of course, or if some random guy like “the egregious knitter” (a guy who steals balls of thread for knitting – made up) would be funny too.

Hell, if the worst they have is a tax evading hockey team owner, I’m moving up there.

Mark

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Study Finds that Booze Shrinks Brains!

May 3, 2007

Yet another study to show us what we already know...

Drinking too much alcohol on a regular basis may speed the shrinking of the brain that comes with age and accelerate mental decline, a study showed.

Brain scans of more than 1,800 people showed that those who consumed more than 14 drinks a week had about 1.6 percent less brain volume compared with nondrinkers. The effect was more pronounced among women than men, said lead researcher Carol Ann Paul, an instructor at Wellesley College near Boston.

Size reductions in certain parts of the brain have been linked to Alzheimer’s disease in previous research. More than 12 million Americans could be diagnosed as alcohol dependent, and consuming 12 to 15 drinks a week places a person at risk of the condition, according to the U.S. National Institutes of Health in Bethesda, Maryland.

“The study is a snapshot in time,” Paul said in a telephone interview yesterday. “We’re not looking at their entire history. The next steps would be to look at the longitudinal effects of alcohol, the effects over a lifetime.”

More research is needed to help determine whether the results apply to a wider population and specifically what the connection means, Paul said.

Paul and her colleagues were looking for signs that alcohol might slow brain aging in a way similar to the reduction in heart disease that studies have shown for people who consume low- to moderate amounts. Paul presented the study results at the American Academy of Neurology’s annual meeting in Boston yesterday.

The researchers examined results of brain scans performed on men and women 34 to 88 years old and without signs of dementia. Dividing the group into nondrinkers, former drinkers, low, moderate and high drinkers, the researchers measured brain volume in relation to skull size, considered a marker of brain aging.

People with a 12-year history of heavy drinking had less brain volume than those who began drinking more moderately during that period and later consumed greater amounts, Paul said.

Heavy drinking seemed to have the most negative impact on the brain volume of women in their 70s, she said. Past studies have suggested that older women have risk factors that make them particularly vulnerable to the harmful effects of heavy drinking.

According to the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence, almost 18 million Americans abuse alcohol. Each year, more than 100,000 Americans die of alcohol-related causes.

This reminds me of some sage words:

In my country, scientists say women have brain size of squirrel

“In my country, scientists say women have brain size of squirrel.”

If they drink alcohol it’s a possibility! I guess my generation is doomed to be squirrel brained individuals hopelessly wandering around with our mouths agape and our eyes showing interest for only fleeting moments before the ADD takes hold again. We will become living zombies, walking around moaning and using hokey pick-up lines.

In fact the shrinking of brain matter may explain some of these guys you see in clubs who seem to genuinely think that a cheesy pickup line can work…

Anyway, it’s a study that demonstrates something we already know – alcohol kills brain cells. So next time you have a drink, be sure to commemorate the memories and cognitive faculties lost!

Mark

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Boy gets toilet seat stuck on his head

April 26, 2007

I hope the mother got lots of blackmail pictures:

LONDON (Reuters) – British firefighters said on Wednesday they had come to a boy’s rescue after he got a toilet seat stuck on his head.

The toddler, aged two-and-a-half, and his mother walked into a fire station in Braintree, Essex, Tuesday saying the boy had put his head through a small trainer seat for the toilet and now could not remove it.

“His mum had tried to get it over his head but couldn’t budge it so she walked him down here and asked us to have a look at it and we went to work and we managed to get it off in no time,” firefighter Chris Cox said.

“We simply put some dish washing liquid on his head and ears and it slid off nice as pie.”

 

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He said the boy had been “very brave” and “toddled away as happy as can be” after his ordeal ended.

When I was in Boy Scouts we would have killed him a “Knight of the Round Bowl.”

Mark

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Egyptians go to France to recover stolen mummy hairs!

March 31, 2007

I guess they really like their ancient hairs:

CAIRO (Reuters) – Egypt sent an archaeological team to France on Thursday to retrieve 3,200-year-old strands of hair from the mummy of Pharaoh Ramses II, who presided over an era of great military expansion in Egypt, state media said.

The existence of the hair came to light last year when some of the strands were offered for sale on the Internet for between 2,000 and 2,500 euros ($2,668 and $3,336), in addition to tiny pieces of resin and embalmed cloth taken from the mummy.

The seller had said he obtained the relics from his deceased father, who had worked in a French laboratory entrusted with analysing and restoring the body of Ramses in the 1970s. He had offered to provide certificates of authenticity to buyers.

 

French archaeologists had reacted with horror to news that the hairs were on sale and French authorities arrested the suspected seller in November.

Egyptian antiquities chief Zahi Hawass praised the efforts of French authorities to stop the sale of the hair, and said that the “theft of the mummy’s hair was not appropriate behavior”, state news agency MENA said.

Ramses II, also known as Ramses the Great, was born around 1304 BC and ruled Egypt for more than 60 years during the 19th dynasty of pharaohs. He is a popular feature on Egyptian postcards and is traditionally believed to be the pharaoh mentioned in the biblical story of Moses.

Ramses’s mummy was discovered in 1881 and shortly afterwards moved to Cairo’s Egyptian Museum. In the early 1970s authorities noticed his body was deteriorating and sent it to Paris, where it was treated for a fungal infection.

 

Don’t they know about the ancient Egyptian mummy hair curse? If you take a mummy’s hair you will wind up growing very hairy palms, which would make life (and other things) a lot harder.

 

I can already hear what my girlfriend would say. “If he still has hair after thousands of years, I have to know what kind of shampoo and conditioner he used!” =P

 

Mark

 

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Swiss man jailed for Thai insult.

March 30, 2007

I thought the Swiss were supposed to be neutral?

 

Swiss man jailed for Thai insult

Oliver Jufer arrives at court in Chiang Mai, Thailand, on 12 March 2007

Oliver Jufer has lived in Thailand for more than a decade

A Swiss man has been jailed for 10 years after pleading guilty to charges of insulting the Thai king.

Oliver Jufer, 57, was arrested last December after drunkenly spray-painting posters of King Bhumibol Adulyadej in the northern city of Chiang Mai.

Earlier this month he pleaded guilty to five charges under Thailand’s draconian lese majeste law.

Judge Phitsanu Tanbukalee said that Jufer received a reduced sentence because he had admitted his guilt.

“This is a serious crime, and he was sentenced to four years for each of five counts, for a total of 20 years,” he said.

“Because he confessed, the court has reduced his sentence to 10 years.”

Jufer is believed to be the first foreigner ever imprisoned for the offence.

Others have been charged in the past, but later expelled from the country rather than jailed.

Sensitive issue

Jufer, who had faced a maximum sentence of 75 years, has lived in Thailand for more than 10 years.

KING BHUMIBOL ADULYADEJ

King Bhumibol

 

Born in 1927, ascended throne in 1946

World’s longest-serving current head of state

Official powers are limited, but wields enormous influence because of popular backing

Widely believed to have given backing to 2006 military coup

Sensitive regimes

He was recorded on surveillance cameras defacing the portraits on the king’s 79th birthday.

Earlier he had tried to buy alcohol but been refused, since such sales are sometimes banned on important days. King Bhumibol, the world’s longest-serving current head of state, is a very popular figure in Thailand.

The case has highlighted strict laws in Thailand which forbid any criticism of the monarchy.

Such is the sensitivity of the issue, says the BBC’s Jonathan Head in Bangkok, that it is receiving little attention in the Thai media.

Most Thais feel a deep reverence for their monarch. But they also fear discussing the institution because of the severe penalties for criticising members of the royal family.

Jufer has a month to lodge an appeal against the sentence, our correspondent adds, but his best hope now is probably a royal pardon.

Now this isn’t in itself funny (it’s pretty fucked up for the Swiss dude) but what IS funny is the picture of their leader. Look at that guy!  He looks like a Jewish lawyer pansey.  I would be jailed within a day if I lived under those laws and had a leader so ripe for jokes!

Poor country though, they will never have comedians like Jay Leno.

Mark

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Taliban leader captured in women’s clothing!

March 15, 2007

The article is fairly long, but the actual concept is very amusing.

An amusing excerpt:

NATO, meanwhile, announced the capture of a senior Taliban fighter who had eluded authorities by wearing a woman’s burqa. Mullah Mahmood, who is accused of helping Taliban fighters rig suicide bomb attacks, was seized by Afghan soldiers at a checkpoint near Kandahar, the alliance said.

I love the implications in this. This Taliban leader wearing women’s clothing, it’s such a mockery of their own belief systems and so damn embarrassing for them.

Or maybe I’m the only one who finds this funny.

Mark

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Fairies stop construction workers!

March 15, 2007

Wasn’t there a Disney movie like this?

VILLAGERS who protested that a new housing estate would “harm the fairies” living in their midst have forced a property company to scrap its building plans and start again.

Marcus Salter, head of Genesis Properties, estimates that the small colony of fairies believed to live beneath a rock in St Fillans, Perthshire, has cost him £15,000. His first notice of the residential sensibilities of the netherworld came as his diggers moved on to a site on the outskirts of the village, which crowns the easterly shore of Loch Earn.

He said: “A neighbour came over shouting, ‘Don’t move that rock. You’ll kill the fairies’.” The rock protruded from the centre of a gently shelving field, edged by the steep slopes of Dundurn mountain, where in the sixth century the Celtic missionary St Fillan set up camp and attempted to convert the Picts from the pagan darkness of superstition.

“Then we got a series of phone calls, saying we were disturbing the fairies. I thought they were joking. It didn’t go down very well,” Mr Salter said.

In fact, even as his firm attempted to work around the rock, they received complaints that the fairies would be “upset”. Mr Salter still believed he was dealing with a vocal minority, but the gears of Perthshire’s planning process were about to be clogged by something that looked suspiciously like fairy dust.

“I went to a meeting of the community council and the concerns cropped up there,” he said. The council was considering lodging a complaint with the planning authority, likely to be the kiss of death for a housing development in a national park. Jeannie Fox, council chairman, said: “I do believe in fairies but I can’t be sure that they live under that rock. I had been told that the rock had historic importance, that kings were crowned upon it.” Her main objection to moving the rock was based on the fact that it had stood on the hillside for so long: a sort of MacFeng Shui that many in the village subscribe to.

“There are a lot of superstitions going about up here and people do believe that things like standing stones and large rocks should never be moved,” she said.

Half a mile into Loch Earn is Neish Island. From there the Neish clan set forth to plunder the surrounding country, retreating each time to their island. Early in the 17th century, the MacNabs retaliated from the next valley, carrying a boat over the mountains, storming the island and slaughtering most of the Neishes.

This summer Betty Neish McInnes, the last of that line in St Fillans, went to her grave — but not before she had imparted the ancient Pict significance of the rock to many of her neighbours.

“A lot of people think the rock had some Pictish meaning,” Mrs Fox said. “It would be extremely unlucky to move it.”

Mr Salter did not just want to move the rock. He wanted to dig it up, cart it to the roadside and brand it with the name of his new neighbourhood.

The Planning Inspectorate has no specific guidelines on fairies but a spokesman said: “Planning guidance states that local customs and beliefs must be taken into account when a developer applies for planning permission.” Mr Salter said: “We had to redesign the entire thing from scratch.”

The new estate will now centre on a small park, in the middle of which stands a curious rock. Work begins next month, if the fairies allow.

I just love the part where he says, “We thought they were joking. It didn’t go down very well.”

Of course you’d think sane, rational people wouldn’t believe in fairies… but hey there are people who believe in Unicorns! Yes, Unicorns are mentioned twice in the bible – which a lot of people believe.

Or who am I to judge? Maybe there are fairies in the rocks and they’ll turn the construction workers into goats. =P

Mark

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Clowns are creepy, but this is too much.

February 22, 2007

Colombia clowns killed on stage

Two circus clowns have been shot dead during a performance in the eastern Colombian city of Cucuta, police say.

The attacker jumped into the arena and fired before fleeing, police chief Jose Humberto Henao told Efe news agency.

Local reports say the audience of about 20 people, mostly children, thought the shooting was part of the show before realising both men had been killed.

Last year, a prominent circus clown, known as Pepe, was also shot dead by a unknown assailant in Cucuta.

The motive for the latest killing remains unclear, police said. Local media reports suggest two attackers may have been involved.

One clown was shot in the head as he performed on stage, about an hour into the Circo del Sol’s evening show.

The second, named as 18-year-old Franklin Leal, from Cucuta, was then shot as he stood by the ticket booth, according to the newspaper La Opinion.

The travelling circus had set up in a suburb of Cucuta, capital of Norte de Santander province near the Venezuelan border, about 10 days earlier, the paper says.

As wretched as this all is, the only thing I can say is: “Homey don’t play that.”
Mark

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